Lost and Found
by fairywings81
Summary: The story of Jasper Whitlock, and how he found the one person who changed his life forever.
1. Prologue

**(A/N: This fic would not be possible without the help of my new Beta Reader, Iris Messenger. She is amazing when it comes to helping me find better ways of wording things. This fic is also dedicated to the very talented Jackson Rathbone for his birthday, in appreciation for all his hard work, and the work to come in his role as Jasper Whitlock-Hale)**

**Prologue**

_Lucinda Ortiz was just a young woman that had been in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Jasper had tried to convince Maria that killing her wasn't necessary,__but Maria had insisted. Lucinda had long black hair and olive skin, and she didn't seem to understand much English._

_He took a step towards her, speaking with a soft, southern twang, meant to sooth. "Make it easier on yourself, ma'am. Just give in." _

_She shook her head, backing up further. "You don't want this…" She said in perfectly spoken English. It surprised Jasper. She was putting up a fight, though it would be useless in the end._

"_It's over," he said. Jasper could feel her fear — it was what had helped him find her in the first place. __When his prey was afraid, the blood became stronger as their heartbeat accelerated. Jasper sent out a wave of calm to his victim. He needed to pacify her, give her a false sense of security. _

_He stepped forward again, and she backed up until she hit the wall. She studies his face. "Please Señor..." Jasper saw the trust in her face and hated that it was misplaced trust._

_Jasper grabbed her wrists and pinned them against the wall, making a cage of his body. Though his victim could not have known, every movement he made and word he spoke caused him guilt. "I can feel that you're afraid. Believe me, death is kinder." His grip tightened and he tried to ignore Lucinda's terror. _

_Lucinda began to murmur in Spanish, a language Jasper understood little of. He could guess, however, that Lucinda was praying. Unwilling to prolong her suffering, he reached up and quickly snapped her neck__.__ He drank from her, feeling guilty with every gulp of quickly cooling blood that he took in …_

Jasper patted down the last of the earth over the shallow grave that held the corpse of Lucinda Oritz's body. It was the last of the innocent casualties of the night. He wondered how many more would have to suffer at his, or his comrades' hands before Maria would be satisfied with the territory they had seized. He sighed inwardly, as he heard Maria calling him again. The fresh batch of newborns was awake. _Well, Lucinda. Be thankful that I chose to end your life. I would not wish this damnation on anyone. _He patted the top of the grave one last time, before slowly, and reluctantly returning to base camp.

_This was how damage control for Maria was done._


	2. Chapter One: Plan of Action

**Chapter One: Plan of Action**

Jasper Whitlock stood over the final one of the night, making sure that it wasn't dead, officially. He had already effectively ended the individual's human life. As he glanced around, finally moving back a pace, he saw with satisfaction that many of his new creations were starting to become what they were meant to be. He called a passing soldier over. "Did you take care of those ones down there?" He pointed to the south end of the field.

"Yes, Sir." The male ducked his head swiftly. "All are accounted for."

"Good. Return to base then. I'll finish up here." Among the many undead, there were still a few that remained quite human, and alive. It was too late for a doctor even reach them, and they couldn't remain living, after what had happened on that field. They had seen too much. Jasper was sorry about that. He tried to take as few human lives as he could get away with. It was his way of dealing with Maria's madness, though it never helped. He turned and faced the army of newborns that were waiting for his orders. "Take them all out."

He moved, knowing there would be no stopping them once they had started. He headed back to the main tent. He had to talk to Maria about this life style. It didn't feel like they were getting anything accomplished, even though Maria promised him they were. Now he was beginning to doubt it. The war had long since been over. There was no more need for such nonsense.

As he wandered through the numerous bodies that lay around almost as far as the eye could see, he had to reign in the amount of emotion he had been bombarded with. Even if he wasn't the one doing the killing, emotions were one thing he could barely get away from. Maria found this most useful, when the newborns would wake up, and want food immediately. Jasper had thought nothing of it. Until today.

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He approached Maria's self-appointed quarters, and waited for her to come out. He was not really one for upfront confrontations. He didn't have to wait long. Maria came out short, as if she sensed his presence.

"Major Whitlock. I trust everything is in order?"

"Yes. But, I need to talk to you." He wasn't going to allow her to flatter him anymore, with his fancy titles. He really despised his rank now. It was because of that that she had changed him to begin with.

Maria could tell Jasper was troubled. She tried to smooth it over. "We've nearly conquered all of this territory. One or two more stops, and we…" Her head whipped around. Jasper glanced up too, and froze. There stood a boy, with his older brother. The younger of the two didn't look too much older than may nine or ten. Jasper straightened up, looking at Maria. What would she do? Certainly she wasn't going to kill an innocent child. Maria nodded to Jasper. He knew what that meant. His sire wanted him to put the younger boy to sleep. He had already guessed that the older brother would become a part of Maria's growing army. He walked over to the boys casually. "Hey there."

The younger of the two looked up at Jasper, as he moved closer to his brother. "We didn't mean anything by passin' sir. Sorry."

"We was just looking for something good to eat…" His elder brother said now. He had a protective arm around his brother. "Ken and I lost our mother just a few days go."

"I'm sorry…" Jasper wondered if the woman might've been one of his or his companions' victims. He put his focus on the task at hand. He had to separate the boys. "I can tell you where to get a good meal." It was the truth. There was a restaurant not too far away. "But I think it might take a while to get there." As he spoke, he sent out waves of calm, and relaxation, concentrating on the younger boy Ken. "We could take a jeep." From a distance that the boys' human sight wouldn't see, Maria was waiting impatiently. Jasper sighed to himself, and he continued his work. Ken was beginning to sway tiredly. His elder brother held him. "And what is your name?" He questioned the other now.

"Lawrence." The boy replied. "Kenny, come on. It's not time to sleep…" He was puzzled by the boy's sudden drowsiness.

"Well, Lawrence. I'm Major Jasper Whitlock. It would be my pleasure to help such a noble young man as yourself get some food. Why don't you let me take your younger brother to my quarters. He looks like he could use a good rest." He regretted every word he was saying. He knew that neither would see the other again.

"I dunno, Major." Lawrence had picked up his brother, and was cradling him close. "Father said we should stick together.."

Jasper frowned inwardly. This was going to be a little trickier than he expected. He discretely gave Maria a motion that meant he'd deliver momentarily. He turned his eyes on Lawrence. "But he's very tired, you see.." His work had been done. Ken was extremely drowsy, and whining to be allowed a rest.

"Just go with him…" Ken mumbled. "He's a major. He can't mean us any harm…"

_How naïve children are…_Jasper thought sourly. He only wished Ken's innocent words were the truth. He hated that the child trusted him falsely. All he would do is bring him pain, when he woke up and his brother was gone forever. He waited while Lawrence debated inwardly about this. He tried to send out a vibe of trust to the boy. Maria was getting impatient. "If we're to go, we must do it now. They will more than likely close if we delay."

"Yes,Sir." Lawrence recognized authority.

_Now to reassure him.._. Jasper let them get in front of him. He didn't' want to lose them, if the elder brother decided to bolt. He could feel his unease. As they walked, he continued to give off vibes of trust, relaxation and calm to Lawrence. If he could completely disillusion him, his capture by Maria would be even easier. At his tent, Jasper laid a hand on Lawrence's shoulder. "I can't let you in here." He took the now deep asleep Ken into his arms. He was thankful he was wearing his usual coat, so that the chill of his skin did not disturb the child from his slumber. He laid him down in his own bed, and glanced to his roommate, who was eyeing him curiously. "Hands off this one." He told him firmly. His tent mate looked disappointed, but he nodded. His rank was lower than Jasper's, and he knew better than to defy him. Jasper came out, smiling at Lawrence. "Now, let's go see about that food." His own stomach hurt now. And Lawrence's fear was making him smell almost irresistible. He quickly pulled himself together, as he put an arm around the boy, and led him to his new life.

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"I can't do this anymore…" Jasper spat, dropping Lawrence's corpse. He had drained the body far past the point where it would be suitable for changing. It was spiteful, and Maria would be displeased, but in the end, Jasper knew it was a more merciful outcome for the boy. He was angry with her for having the little boy killed. Jasper's plan had been to try and get him away. He wasn't completely ruthless. Children were where he drew the line. . The killing just gave him more fuel for his argument against her now.

"Listen…" Maria could feel Jasper's foul mood.

"No, you listen . I can't live like this anymore.". Jasper said now. "You can't possibly understand how I feel every time I kill another. I feel everything, and nothing at the same time." His eyes glittered intensely, pleading silently for her understanding. He had the sense that Maria wouldn't let him go without a fight.

"You belong with me. I need you here." Maria was trying to calm Japer's mood.

"Fine." Jasper wasn't going to argue right now. He had made his decision. He wasn't of his mind to change it. He calmed her down quickly, and left.

Jasper had spent night after night, since being turned preying upon humans, making vampires for Maria's army. He grew wary of this constant cycle of the unbridled slaughter of innocents.

He went back to his tent, muttering under his breath. He needed a plan, before he could attempt to leave. He watched as several people walked by. Many were going to the local bar not far from town. He caught sight of Peter, a former colleague of his, and he wandered over to him. "Hey."

"Oh, hey, Jasper." Peter blinked at him. " Did the meeting not go well with Maria?" He knew already what the answer to that would be.

"No. Not as such…" Jasper shook his head. "Peter, I need to get out. It's too much." He thought of the last feeling his final victim of the night had thought.

_Failure._

Jasper wasn't sure what kind of failure he'd meant. He didn't want any of it --- Maria's sick games, the fearful and painful deaths he dealt. He was being used, and Jasper wondered why he hadn't realized that a long time ago.

"Come away with Charlotte and I." Peter suggested. "We won't mind having you." He smiled invitingly. "It won't be easy going, but it would better than being someone else's toy."

It was tempting. Jasper had to admit that. And he was looking for the way out. Peter had just offered him one. "Let me think about it…"

"Now is as good a time as any, Jazz." Peter pointed out. "She'll be distracted with your new recruits for hours. Let's get out of here, while we can."

Jasper nodded. He had to agree. He didn't want to stay at that encampment one more night if he didn't have to. "I'll go get some things together. I'll meet you at the entrance. Maybe we can come up with a good reason for all of us to be leaving at the same time." He had a good idea already. He went back to his tent, and began to prepare a pack with clean clothes. _Finally, I'm going to be free to do things my way. _He had to admit the sound of that made him even more anxious. He wasn't sure what was to come, but he knew whatever it was, he could handle it.


	3. Chapter Two: Running Away

**Chapter Two: Running Away**

Jasper, Peter, and Charlotte got away that night. Peter's prediction about Maria's absorption with his new recruits kept her from noticing it when they left. They stayed on the side of the roads they took, not wanting to attract too much attention to themselves. Jasper kept a close watch on things, hoping not to run into anyone that would take information back to Maria about his whereabouts.

Peter and Charlotte more or less kept to themselves, but they didn't completely ignore him. Peter seemed to know that he had a lot on his mind. At length, Peter got them out of the area, and they began to look for somewhere to stay.

"How about here?" Peter said. They had come across nice looking hotel.

"Good enough for me …" Jasper replied, as he saw two scantly dressed females go in. He hoped their rooms wouldn't be too close to theirs. He wasn't sure if he could resist the alluring scent they were giving off. The last thing they needed was for them to be found so soon after their escape. Then he caught something else. The door to the hotel seemed to have been ripped off. _Newborns. _He scowled inwardly. He didn't understand why Maria allowed this kind of thing to happen.

Peter followed his gaze, and smirked. "Forget about them, Jazz. We're not a part of that affiliation anymore, remember?" He started to walk off. Then he paused. He sniffed lightly. "Yum …" He turned around, having changed his mind. Peter ignored Charlotte's calming words, trying to call him back.

Jasper was very distressed. He was trying so hard to ignore his own urges, but very suddenly, the smell of blood wafted out to them, becoming more prominent, as if someone else had just died. He swallowed hard, trying to discern what exactly what had gone on in there, before he attempted to enter.

Peter glanced back at him from the entrance. His friend's eyes were black as coal, his blood lust having consumed him completely. "Nothing but carnage in this place, Jasper. Come on." He could see that Jasper was working on control. "There's no point to that, Jazz. Almost every one here is already near death." Peter guessed Maria must have already gotten to this area, without their knowledge. He went into the hotel then, leaving Jasper to make his own decision.

Once Peter had gone inside with Charlotte close behind, Jasper took a deep breath, forcing himself to focus. If he went in there, and fed the way he really was desperate to do, the whole reason that he'd left Maria in the first place would become pointless. Jasper found that he was uncertain of what he wanted to do. He was just deciding to walk on, when one of the two girls he'd seen enter only moments earlier came running out. Blood was gushing from her arm. Jasper saw that she had a crescent shaped bite where the blood originated.

"Please…you've got to do something! It hurts so bad..!" The girl was in her early twenties, Jasper could guess. "It's burning…make it stop!" She fell to her knees at Jasper's feet, writhing in pain.

Jasper felt his natural hunger for blood kicking into overdrive, and he took a step back from her. He felt bad for her, and he wanted to help her, but he knew if he got too close it wouldn't end any better. "I can't help you, Ma'am. I'm sorry…" He took another step back, when she moved towards him in desperation.

"Please …" she said again. Her voice was going raw from screaming. It was weak now.

Jasper shook his head. He had come to a decision that he would sorely regret later, he was sure. He would give in to his hunger, but not just for his sake — for hers, as well. He grabbed her, and before she had a chance to wonder was going on, he had completely snapped her neck, and was draining her. He admitted that the taste of another's venom was not what he wanted, but if it would stop yet another unruly vampire newborn from causing havoc, he would take it.

He dropped her, and walked into the hotel. His eyes were black, and he was hungry for blood. He glared at the nearest vampire he saw. "Hey!"

The newborn blinked, then he bared his teeth, noting that the intruder was also a vampire. This was his territory, and he didn't want to give it up. "This is my place. Get your own."

"I think you've had enough." Jasper switched to his commanding tone. He had had hopes he would never have to be in charge of another set of newborns after he left Maria. He guessed just doing it one more time wouldn't hurt, and it would save himself and his companions some trouble later. "Take a step back."

The newborn was startled by Jasper's tone enough that he did as he was ordered. Recognition came next, and he felt a pang of fear for talking to Major Whitlock with such blatant disrespect.

"Who gave you permission to come this far?" Jasper asked now. He didn't let up on his tough tone. "The cut off was five miles back, soldier."

"Miss Maria said we could do as we pleased." Another said. This one was young, almost a child. He had in his hands the corpse of an infant. Jasper was repulsed immediately.

"Oh, she did, did she?" Jasper glowered. Maria was taking her game too far, when she began to turn children, and allow them all to run willy-nilly everywhere.

"I swear, Major Whitlock. We wouldn't do anything she said we ain't supposed to do!" The first said. His eyes were wild, now. Apparently, he had already heard about what happened to those who were defiant.

Peter came to Jasper's side, worried. He had seen his friend fly off the handle before. It was never a pretty sight. Now was not the time to make a big noise, killing newborns. "Come on, Jasper…"

"No." Jasper said. His voice was void of all emotion. The smell of human blood was all he could understand. He restrained himself from finishing some of the newborns' started work. "All of you, leave here, now! And don't let me catch one of you this far out again. Go!" They all scattered, many of them fearing for their lives. Major Jasper Whitlock meant business, and his threats were never empty ones. He sighed, as the last of them left. Then he realized with disgust that he still felt inclined to feed. He needed to get out of there. He composed himself, and left the hotel, returning to the streets. He picked the corpse of the young woman up he'd finished off, and took her into a back alley. He buried her the best way he knew how. It wasn't as if in this place it wasn't unusual to find someone dead in the alley.

Peter found Jasper a few blocks away, lost in thought. "Jazz?"

The other vampire turned. He had a pained expression on his face.

"Her name was Billie. She had a child waiting for her at home…" Jasper spoke of the girl he had liberated from the immortal life. He hadn't time to think about what she was feeling at the time, but just the same, her last feelings lingered in his mind. He really hated his empathic nature sometimes. But there was also the bright side. It was what made him more human than most of his race.

"There was nothing you could have done, my friend." Peter soothed. "This is what we are, Jasper. It's the only way we can survive." His friend didn't want to hear that.

"There has to be a better way, Peter! Why should others have to die in order for our kind to survive?!" He lowered his voice, as two businessmen passed them. "It's not right."

Peter sucked in his unused breath. Jasper had a lot of pent up anger over being used by Maria. That was plain. But he thought his friend must've been mad, if he honestly thought any of them could along on anything other than blood. "Jasper, we're vampires. We have no other way to sustain ourselves except for the consumption of human blood."

"That can't be the only way." Jasper repeated stubbornly. He ran a hand through his hair. He was frustrated, and disappointed that leaving Maria was turning out to be so fruitless after all.

"We'll go where our killings will go unnoticed, Jasper. One here one there, you know?" Peter said now. He felt bad, because he couldn't understand where Jasper's sudden dislike of their lifestyle came from. It didn't make sense to him. Charlotte had been unable to make sense of it as well.

"Fine." Jasper didn't like that idea anymore than he liked the idea of having to return to Maria. He felt better being with Peter, at least. He wouldn't jerk him around, and use him. He got up. "Let's get as far away from here as we can." He wanted no more part in Maria's trouble. The farther they got away from it, the better.


	4. Chapter Three: Another Decision

**Chapter Three: Another Decision **

The landscape changed from one town to another in the next few hours. Jasper and Peter kept a watch on the area, until they felt that they were safe. At length, it was Charlotte that spoke. "Where do you think we ought to settle?" She was standing close to Peter, as always. She had nothing but respect for him, after he had saved her from certain death. She had her own reasons for hating Maria.

"Maybe we just ought to keep traveling. It isn't as if we actually need the sleep." Peter put in. He glanced at Jasper. "What do you think?"

The group of runaways were far enough from their former encampment that Jasper had finally begun to relax and think clearly He knew a few things for sure. One, he hated himself for all the lives he had taken. Two, he desperately wanted to find another way to live. And third, and most important, he wouldn't be able to stay with Peter and Charlotte for a long time. They were not like him, and they just didn't understand him at all. Jasper found that he couldn't get past that fact, and it bothered him. He decided to he would talk to Peter as soon as he could. When Peter called to him, he looked over. "It doesn't really make much of a difference to me..." Though he had to admit that he wouldn't mind a break from traveling. "Maybe we can just find somewhere to rest for a little while.." Then he might have a chance to try and explain himself to Peter.

"If that's what you want..." Peter had become increasingly worried about Jasper. With every meal they had taken since leaving the hotel full of newborns, his old colleague had become increasingly irritable, and distant. This wasn't the Jasper he had left with Maria way back when he and Charlotte had gotten away. The Jasper he knew didn't mind partaking in a human feast every now and again. Now it felt as though he almost would rather starve, but his instincts got the better of him every time. Then he would beat himself up over it for days, even if he fed again. Peter just didn't understand him at all now. "Jasper, you haven't been yourself at all since the hotel back there..."

"Or maybe I have been my new self." Jasper replied, but it wasn't really directed at Peter. "Let's just find a place to sit and relax for a while. We're away from her. We should be celebrating for the time being." He really wanted to talk to Peter about things, but he wasn't sure how to handle that yet. Maybe once they were off the roads, and in a more suitable environment, things would go smoother.

Peter nodded, and said no more on the subject of Jasper's change of mindset. He glanced at Charlotte, who nodded. His partner didn't want to push Jasper either. He got the distinct impression that she stil harbored quite a bit of uncertainty towards Jasper, but she was getitng better about it. "Well, if we're going to stay somewhere, maybe it ought to be a bed and breakfast room. Something we can stick around in for a while..."

"Yes, but never too long, because of our...special needs." Jasper said quietly, as two gentlemen passed them, heading into a local tavern. "Maybe this place has rooms for rent. I wouldn't mind staying here." It didn't appear to be too occupied. The more deserted a place, the better for Jasper right now.

"Alright." Peter followed Jasper in, and they began to inquire about rooms.

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They got a single room on the next floor up. Peter and Charlotte went out after that to take care of their needs, Jasper stayed put, and paced the room. _I hate this. I hate the fact I'm going to have to leave them soon. They're both so kind, to have let me even be with them. And here, I am just miserable. I need to go off on my own, and find that "other way" that I know is out there. I can't be the only one of our kind that finds the killing of humans for food to be morally wrong. __If Peter and Charlotte want to keep living this way, that is their business, but this way of life isn't fitting for someone like me, who can sense every emotion available to feel. _He continued to mull all of this over, getting more depressed by the moment. He was just making the decision to go out himself, when Peter came back. Charlotte wasn't with him. "Hey..."

"Hey..." Peter moved over to the window, where Jasper was gazing out into the dimly lit streets. "You seem to have a lot on your mind lately, my friend..." He was careful, choosing his words. He wasn't sure how Jasper was going to react to anything anymore. He wasn't the same as he had once been. "What happened, after me and Charlotte left?" He wondered if something else had happened between Jasper and Maria that he wasn't aware of.

"Nothing. That's just it, Peter. It was the same madness over and over. Turn a batch, train them a year, kill them. It just....it became redundant, and with the war over now, completely unnecessary." Jasper spoke these words to the window. He could sense Peter was troubled by what he was saying. He didn't have to see his old friend's face to know. "You will never understand what I've gone through. You have no idea what it's like, Peter, to feel every person's fear, and to know their dying feelings. It's agonizingly painful. To top it all off, Maria used me, to falsely lure innocents to the immortal world. It's completely unjustifiable." He turned, facing Peter now. His face was full of the inner turmoil he had been carrying around, for every life he'd taken, both human, and vampire.

Peter was speechless. He leaned against the wall by his palm, shaking his head silently. "I don't....understand. You have it right." The other vampire leaned against the wall fully now, his arms across his chest. "What about this....not killing humans for food? Is that part of why too?"

Jasper gritted his teeth at how casually Peter spoke of taking innocent lives. "Peter, there are other ways for us to survive. We don't have to kill innocents." He thought about Lawrence, and his brother, Ken. The elder of the two's startled expression of betrayal flickered into his mind again, and he tried his best to push it away. He clenched his fists tightly, furious with himself. But he knew death would've come to Lawrence whether he'd turned him for Maria's game or not. He withheld the urge to punch the wall in irritation.

"You're too emotionally involved..." Peter concluded. He came to put a hand on Jasper's shoulder. He was startled when his friend shrugged it off roughly. "Jazz..."

"I knew you wouldn't get it! I can't _help _being involved. I feel everything! And then, if that's not enough, I always tend to use my curse of manipulation to lure people into false securities before I kill them!" He headed for the door.

"Jasper! Where are you going?" Peter started forward to go after his friend. He thought better of it, when Jasper glared at him. His friend left the room, slamming the door behind him. Peter listened to him thunder down the stairs, before he sighed in frustration. _You're right, Jazz. I just don't understand. It's in our nature to kill for life. What else can we possibly do? I feel bad for your unique situation, my friend, but there's really nothing we can do about it. _

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Jasper kept running, until he was far enough away from both the tavern and people. He leaned against the wall of an alley, and sighed. _That settles it all, doesn't it? I can't stay with them anymore after tonight. I need to go out, and make my own way. _He had no idea where he was going to go, or where he would end up, but he knew that if he stayed around too much longer there would be an even bigger altercation between himself and Peter. He couldn't have that. If they werent' going to try and understand, it was better that they severed ways now. He pushed off against the wall, and continued walking in the opposite direction of the tavern. He wasn't ready to go back. As he walked, he tuned out as much as he could. There were people on the other side of the avenue.

Then he saw something that made him furious. A man, wearing all black, grabbed a hold of one of the two very pretty women that was walking towards a small shop. He heard her distressed scream, and he couldn't ignore it anymore. He dashed with inhuman speed towards the alley where the abductor was holding her against a wall, while he began to do unspeakable things. He tapped the man on the should. "I don't think the lady likes that much." He allowed his Southern drawl to come out, as it held a note of politeness with it.

"Who asked you? Get lost." The man said now. He had a very unfriendly expression on his face. He continued what he was doing, which was undressing his victim. He then pulled a knife, and began to carve into her now exposed delicate skin.

Jasper felt his intentions as they formed in his mind, and it made Jasper even more furious. No one deserved that kind of disrespect! The smell of the blood from the terrified victim nearly threw him for a loop. He tried his best to re-center his attention on the malicious attacker instead. He ripped him away violently, glaring at him. He threw him up against a wall. "People like you make me sick." He imagined his eyes were probably dark red or black at this point. The smell of the woman's blood filled his nostrils, made his stomach churn in hunger. He was quick to break the neck of the attacker. He heard the woman sobbing in the corner where he'd left her. She was terrified of him. Jasper turned to her, and after taking an unneeded steadying breath, he knelt to be at her eye level. "Sorry about that, ma'm. He won't be botherin' anyone anymore." It took every bit of strength he had, not to feed off the blood coming from her. "I'll go and send help for you." He stood up, and turned to go. He felt a hand clutch at his pant leg, and he looked down, startled. She had the most curious expression on her face. She wasn't a bit afraid of him.

"You saved me...I didn't deserve it..." Her expression told of countless unfaithful doings on the part of the woman. She had a shady past, and it surprised him. He pulled his leg away. "No one deserves that type of cruel death, ma'm. I suggest you make ammends with whatever you've done wrong, and make a better life for you and yours." He turned then, and walked out of the alley. The woman's companion wasn't too far down the way, and Jasper figured she'd find her. He turned in the opposite direction, and headed back to the tavern. He had proven to himself that he could resist his own bloodlust, if he wanted to bad enough. Now it was time to set out on his own, and find others that were doing the same.


	5. Chapter Four: Annabelle

Peter and Charlotte hadn't taken the news well, Jasper knew they wouldn't. He did his best to smooth things over. He would miss Peter, that much he made clear. Even though he no longer took joy in the memories, the truth was, Jasper and Peter had a lot of stuff between them. However, it was time to move on, and find his own way. He would owe Peter and Charlotte, and one day, he hoped he would be able to help them out if they needed it. He glanced up at the room window, where Peter was watching him walk away. He raised a hand once more in farewell, then turned and went on his way.

It had started raining by the time Jasper left the tavern for the second time. No one, aside from a few stray drunks were in the streets. Jasper found that he was relieved of that fact. He made his way towards the other end of the small town, and began to map things out in his head. That was one thing he did not know. He wasn't sure where he was going. He supposed he would just let his feet guide him. There would be others of his kind, he was sure of it. The immortal population surely couldn't be restricted to the deep south and midwest. He made an unconscious decision to head east. He wanted to leave his past life as far behind as he could. He needed to start making new life for himself.

Okay, Jasper. Just what exactly are you thinking? You can't really believe you're going to make it all on your own? You just can't stop feeding cold turkey. You're not strong enough. A part of him was skeptical about his decision. Jasper was irritated with that side of himself, and so he tried to turn his thoughts to other subjects. He could find a way to keep himself from feeding off the blood of humans. He was determined to do so. Something made it a strong priority. He thought back to the victims he knew the names of, and then the countless others he did not. It pained him to think about this. There. That was the place he needed to be when he got his thirstiest for the taste of blood. It would take a long time, to train himself to that, but he was willing to keep trying. The body count would be lowered for his efforts. That's all he wanted.

He finally left town about midnight. But he wasn't sure if that was entirely accurate. Vampires didn't tend to go by the same clock as humans, because they never slept. He told the time by the night sky. That's how it had been on the front lines, when he had the time to look. He knew a lot about the night sky now. More than he ever thought he'd know about anything, or that he cared to know. The night sky had been his companion before Maria, and it would be his companion now. The stars were the only witnesses to his self-loathing now. For the the first time, Jasper thought about his family. He had never had a chance to say goodbye to them properly. He only knew they knew he was "dead" because of the weekly death announcements that would be released everywhere. He was glad they couldn't see what their boy had become. A bloodthirsty, cruel monster. Well, that's how Jasper saw it, anyway. He couldn't count anymore how many he had lured to their deaths just by sure control of emotion. He shook his head. Enough! That's in the past. You have to forget about that, if you want to move to the future. He vowed then, as he settled near an alley to rest his feet, that he would continue to push forward, and he would never again use his control of people's emotions for bad intention

**************************************************************************************************************

" S'cuse me, sir, is this place taken?" a soft southern accent jarred Jasper from his thoughts. He looked up, his eyes alert, as he took in the sight of a young girl who didn't look too much older than Ken had.

She had pale blue eyes, and soft lightly tanned skin. She was eyeing Jasper, probably wondering what a grown man was doing, sitting in an alley. He probably looked too well dressed to pass for a homeless beggar.

"Sure ain't," Jasper replied softly. Careful, Jasper. She's just a child. You don't want that on your hands. He ignored his conscience, his inner thirst was already churning and he hated it. He scooted over slightly, and watched her sit down. "Where are your parents?" he asked, moving closer once she sat. Jasper wouldn't let her leave him now — she had become his unwilling snack.

"They's dead," she said softly. "Mama died last night, of fever ... and Papa was killed at the factory during an accident." The girl yawned and unconsciously leaned her head on Jasper's shoulder. "I'm alone now ..."

Jasper reisted the urge to take her right then and there. It ain't right, Jazz. Don't do it. His inner voice urged silently. Get away from her. "I'm sorry, lil Miss," he said politely. "What's your name?" He continued to ignore his conscience. His hunger was burning now but he had to remain patient — trust had to be gained first.

"Annabelle." She began to cough then, violently. Jasper's human instincts, which had been dormant for over one hundred years, reacted, patting her on the back. She spit up a chunk of blood into her little palm. Tears formed in her eyes. "N-no ... I can't be ... Mama made sure ..."

Jasper immediately understood what was going on. The child was close to her death. Let her die naturally. Don't make her last hours ... He tuned all the thoughts out firmly. Jasper had seen the fever before — it was much crueler with children than it was adults. She would be suffering for days more. He put a hand on her shoulder. "Come with me. You don't need to be in the cold like this." Deceiving her. You know better than this. What about all your promises? He sighed deeply, as he stood up. He was doing it again. He was building that false trust, using his gift. So much for promises. His conscience spat at him. He ignored it. Annabelle went eagerly to his side, and he carefully picked her up.

"No, Sir! You'll get it too, and it ain't so easy to be rid of," Annabelle protested, squirming a little.

"You needn't worry about me, little one. I'm strong," Jasper told the child, carrying her away from the crowd. Annabelle was light, telling Jasper she probably hadn't had a decent meal in a day or two. He was revolted by this. The idea that children were being allowed to suffer this way made him absolutely sick. And what you're about to do is so much better? Jasper snarled inwardly. He knew what he was doing was not any better, but at least she'd be out of pain and suffering. He glanced behind them, as they got to a darker part of the alleys. They hadnt' been followed. He sighed in relief, and then set Annabelle down. They were right outside of an abandoned bed and breakfast. It looked to Jasper like the place hadn't been used in many years. The building itself, however, looked nearly brand new. He supposed that someone must come by and take care of it sometimes. For now, however, it was the perfect place to bring Annabelle's suffering to an end.

****************************************************************************************

He was surprised to a see a desk clerk in the place when he walked inside. Jasper held Annabelle's hand gently, ignoring her shivering. He knew it must be because of the chill of his skin, but the child didn't ask. He figured she believed it was just her being sick. He introduced himself, and Annabelle, telling the clerk that Annabelle was his neice. He squeezed her hand gently when she opened her mouth to protest this lie. "We'll just be needing one room for tnight, good sir."

"But you ain't my uncle ..." Annabelle whispered quickly when the man turned. She looked up at Jasper, confusion flickering across her dimming blue eyes. "Why'd you tell him that?"

"Nevermind that," Jasper replied, as the clerk returned with a brass skeleton key. "Thank you, sir."

"No trouble at all. I'll have the cook bring you two something up shortly. We haven't had a decent guest here in years. I'm surprised the master wants to keep the place up and running. But I guess it was a good thing. The little one there looks like she ain't seen a good rest in days."

"She'll be fine," Jasper managed to maintain control of the situation. His hunger churned again, and he turned to the stairs.

He led Annabelle up to the marked room on the key's handle. "Here we are." He unlocked the door, and ushered the child inside. The room was cozy enough. He turned the lock on the door discretely. Annabelle was gazing out the window, staring down into the backyard of the building.

"How's the view?" Jasper asked casually. He layered his voice with careful ease. He'd have to ease her into a lulled state. Oh he could do it. He had done it to victim upon victim. Jasper, stop! This isn't what you want! She's a child! Shaking his head, trying to focus on the job at hand, he went over to the window, and put a hand on her shoulder. His grip was icy, yet gentle at the same time. "Why don't you come away from this draft window? You look awfully tired to me, little miss." He allowed his thick Southern accent ring out clearly, as he layered it with feelings of trust. He tried to send out vibes of calm and drowsiness her way. He felt her sway just a bit, and knew his cruel game was afoot again. But his bloodlust was stronger right now. And he couldn't see straight. This is wrong, but I can't stop now. If I leave her now, she'll die alone ... He took her over to the bed, and laid her down. Jasper waited until she was sure was completely out of it. "How do you feel Annabelle?"

"S-sleepy ..." Annabelle was fighting the unnatural drowsiness she was feeling. She turned her head weakly to look at Jasper. Her adult companion seemed different to her. He was studying her like he was just waiting for her to die. She felt too weak to resist him anymore. She knew now she had made a mistake, to trust a complete stranger for any reason. "W-who are you, sir?"

"No one of consequence." Jasper said now. He could see in her eyes that she knew he meant to do something to her. He tried to reinforce the feeling of trust. "Rest now. It will make you feel better." He hated himself suddenly, but it was too late for him to go back — he had to finish what he started. Her sudden fear of him gave off an irresistable aroma. He was about to take the fatal bite, when there came a knock on the door. He withheld a feral growl, and managed to grumble. "Who is it?"

"The cook, sir. I've brought soup for the child. My brother said she wasn't looking well ..." The cook had been caught off guard by Jasper's harsh tone.

"She's sleeping," Jasper all but snapped. He laid a hand on Annabelle's shoulder when the child attempted to rise. She knew she was going to be dead soon. He was sure of it. He turned her angelic, terrified face to look at him. He smiled his false kind smile. He heard the cook rush downstairs and knew it was now or never. "You've been sufferin' far too long, Annabelle. I can make all your pain and agony go away."

"I ... I don't want to die ... I want to be a school teacher, sir ..." Annabelle answered. She tried to shrug away from Jasper, but found that she was far too weak now. "Please ..."

She began to cough again. This time, the fit lasted longer. The blood that came up was more evident. Tears streamed now, as she felt Jasper move in closer to her. "I'm afraid..." She tried to pull away. Between the fear of losing her life to health, and the fear of this man whom she'd trusted so easily, Annabelle smelled incredibly strong now. She gazed up at Jasper, pleading uselessly. She could see that he had already made up his mind.

"Relax for me." He sent out another wave of calm to the girl. He didn't want her last minutes to be fearful, she didn't deserve that at all. His voice was like ice right on her neck. Jasper felt her shiver, and laid a calming hand on her shoulder. Her neck was exposed well enough, due to the oversized dress she wore. It was tempting, but he lowered his gaze to her wrist instead. He would go with whatever was the most painless for her, even as he hungry as he was. He would, however, finish her. There would be no immortal named Annabelle with his name on it, she deserved much better than to be damned. He held her struggling form down firmly until she was suddenly calm.

"Can't you please ... tell me your name, sir?" Annabelle placed a hand on Jasper's sleeve, pleading. "So I can ... thank you properly, when I see you again in Heaven."

Jasper felt even guiltier. Here he was about to kill her mercilessly, and she wanted to thank him? Maybe she secretly wished for death, but he couldn't be sure. He looked her directly in the eyes. "It's Jasper Whitlock, Annabelle — but I wouldn't go lookin' to see me in Heaven anytime soon." Then he began to feed off of her. He heard her cry out in shock, then whimper in pain, as he contined to drink from her. Jasper couldn't have stopped now, even if he had wanted to — and he didn't. He drank deeply, enjoying the taste of the girl's fresh blood washing down his throat. He didn't bother to muffle her cries and pleas for him to stop. She was the appetizer now — Jasper wasn't in his right mind at this point. He was hungry for more, and he would get it. At length, she fell completely still, and cold. She was dead, and out of pain. Jasper pulled himself away, disgusted with himself — but hungry still. He heard voices on the stairs, and knew the two other occupants of the Bed and Breakfast were coming to check on the child. He unlocked the door, and before either could do anything, their necks were broken. Two pools of blood formed at the doorway, and Jasper very casually walked over it. He would hate himself later, he was sure.

Right now, though? He just needed to get away from there. As he turned to walk away from the building, he glanced up to the room he and an innocent little girl had shared briefly. _Trust me on this, Annabelle. Dying quickly is kinder than suffering anymore as you had._


	6. Chapter Five: From a Distance

**Chapter Five: From A Distance**

Jasper wallowed for many days after that, though he tried to tell himself that he'd delivered justice to the poor girl. That didn't really help in the end -- he had still selfishly taken a human life. He hadn't really done it for her. It was for him alone that he'd killed. Jasper mulled all this over as he sat in a quiet corner of a coffee shop. He had refused coffee from the friendly young waitress, and was sipping mechanically at some water. He saw no need to make himself less suspicous. The truth was, he didn't know where to go from there. The eastern half of the states seemed like it would be a good start, but after that ... he wasn't sure.

The waitress came over and refilled his water glass. Jasper watched her, but tried not to look at her. He was thankful that he had taken in enough nourishment from Annabelle that he didn't feel the instant hunger that tended to blind all rational thoughts.

"You seem preoccupied." She had noticed his deep thinking. _How observant of you. _He forced a smile.

"Nothin' really bad. Just have a lot on my mind." Jasper was careful to tone down his accent. Even though they were technically still in the south, his accent, being from Texas, was much thicker, and noticable. He returned his attention to swirling the ice in the glass of water. It had a relaxing effect on him for some reason.

"Are you sure I can't get you anything to eat? It'd be on the house ..."

Was she flirting with him? Jasper couldn't believe it.

"No, s'all right, Ma'm." He looked up at her again, and blinked. She was very fair skinned -- there was a soft polka dot bow in her red, curly hair. It quite reminded Jasper of some of the other ladies he had seen, and drank from in his time. She seemed different -- generally sympathetic, without knowing him at all.

"Is it always this dead around here?" Jasper asked.

"Not always. It's just been slow this week, you chose a good day to come in." She sat down in the chair across from him. "I'm Melanie Bullock."

"Jasper Whitlock." He found that Melanie's naive charm warmed his heart, if only slightly. Her smile was very generous, and she really did seem to realize how lonely Jasper was. Maybe that had been his real sorrow at having killed Annabelle. Child or not, at least she had been company for a short time. He wasn't sure he'd ever find that again.

"Mel, order's up for table eleven," a gruff man's voice called from the kitchen. Jasper felt a sense of irritation coming from him.

"Perhaps you better go back to work ... I'm really alright, ma'm." Jasper didn't want to get too attached to anyone else -- he'd seen where that got him, and he just didn't want that anymore. He smiled kindly, and sipped his water.

"I get off an hour. Maybe we can go somewhere to talk."

She got up, and went back to work. Jasper watched her work discretely. She seemed happy enough, but Jasper wondered if there was something deeper underneath her polished façade. carefully reached out empathically to see if he could detect anything further. He pulled back sharply, like a rubber band being snapped into place. There most definitely was something deeper. He felt a great deal of bloodlust, along with guilt. Bloodlust from a human meant one thing only in Jasper's experience. The girl was a murderess. He felt the venom in his mouth stir as he immediately wanted revenge for the ones she'd killed. Jasper realized at once that was why she'd been so kind to him. She'd planned to lure him out. Well, Jasper certainly wasn't going to allow her to kill again. When she came back to refresh his water for a third time, he smiled.

"Y' know. I think I'll take you up on that offer, ma'm. I'll come back in an hour's time, and we can talk then."

He got up, and left the coffee shop. _It's humans like you that make my kind seem tame ... and that is really saying something._ Jasper forced himself to calm down as he walked the length of the strip. He took the time to look into some of the extra shops, casually watching everyone that went by. Many of the people in this part of town were happier than other places he had passed through, but there were a select few that still carried a bit of silence. He paused briefly, ahead of him was a mother and daughter. The mother put an arm around the daughter.

"I know, Ginny. I miss him too ... I don't what he was thinking, going off with someone he didn't know ..."

"They ... they said it was another woman, Mama. Do you think it's true?" The girl looked up at her mother. She was no more than sixteen, and she really did miss her father terribly.

Jasper carefully sent out a wave of calm to them both, before he crossed the street. He had less than forty-five minutes before he had to be with Melanie. He wasn't looking forward to what had to be done. Jasper was certain that Melanie was probably the one responsible for the the girl's father's death. He tried to keep a sharp ear out for possible links of the same kind of stories, and paused in front of a store that served alcohol. He listened as two elderly men talked of staying away from women all weren't sure who was responsible for the male murders, but they weren't taking any chances. The vampire shook his head getting more disgusted. He glanced around, looking for a source by which to tell time. He finally stopped a young man that looked smartly dressed.

"Scuse me. Can you tell me what time it is?"

"It's just past five." The young man smiled. "You're not from around here, are you, Sir?"

"No indeed. Just traveling through." Jasper allowed himself to smile at the man. "Thank you for your time, Sir." He turned, and headed back to the coffee shop

******************************************************************************************************************  
Melanie was just wiping down her last table when Jasper returned. She smiled sweetly at him.

"You did come back. I was certain you weren't going to."

"I never turn down a chance for a good conversation from a pretty young girl." Jasper allowed his own gift to work against her. He would allow himself this one. His voice, which he'd kept in a nuetral polite tone, returned to it's Southern roots.

"Where is this place you know of?" He wanted to know how far they'd have to go, so he could gauge how much time he had with her, and how long he had to lead her into that familiar false security that was his trademark. He tried not to think too much about what he was doing, if he started doing that he wouldn't be able to exact revenge for those who'd lost love ones. He thought instead, of the girl Ginny that had been in the shopping center. She had lost her father senselessly.

"Just down the road a pace. It's not far." She walked out of the coffee shop, and Jasper followed close behind her. His thirst was churning, and he felt the venom rise in his mouth but he pulled himself together. He wanted her to feel the same way he imagined most of her victims had felt before they were killed. Safe, and secure. "It's nice to have a young man to talk to ... I get so few of those these days ...."

_I'll just bet you don't ..._ Jasper thought venomously, as an image of how he'd torment her mercilessly entered his head. He waited for her to unlock the door of the building she'd led him to. Melanie turned to smile at him. He smiled back, pleasantly. "Are you sure we're going to be alone here, Ma'm?" He would play her game, for now. But she wouldn't know what was coming. He'd make sure of that.

"You can call me Mel. Everyone else does." Melanie said as she turned on a few lights. Jasper blinked, adjusting his eyes to the sudden light.

"Come on in."

Jasper entered the room. He wasn't surprised by what was in it. Or, rather, what wasn't. There wasn't a table to be seen. Just a bed. and on the bedposts, were some kind of restraints.

_So that's how you play. Well, darlin, you're in for a rude awakening._ He turned to look at her. "You don't stay here alone, do you?"

"Most nights I do."

Melanie was pouring a drink from a dark bottle. "Here, have yourself a drink..." She handed him a shot glass. It smelled like a strong liquor. Jasper wrinkled his nose, and his stomach burned even more.

"I don't drink,." He dumped it. "Let's get this over with. You didn't bring me here for conversation, did you? If all you needed was a little pick me up, I would've gladly provided that. There's no need to drug me." He was gauging her mood, she felt caught off guard.

Good. That's exactly how Jasper wanted her.

"I take it I'm the first one to know you're doing something underhanded too, aren't I?" Jasper was enjoying himself -- he would play with her a bit more before going in for the kill.

"I don't know what you're talkin' about. It's just a silly drink ..." Melanie smiled, trying regain herself -- but she'd already lost her confidence.

"Look, we can --"

She was studying Jasper. She couldn't figure out how he had figured out her game so quickly -- no one else had.

"I'm not like all those others, darlin'. I'm very perceptive." Jasper's smile was cruelly sweet. He moved towards her. "I have no one to live for. You can do me in, if you want."

Melanie blinked backing up. "Now hold on just a minute! Who the hell told you?!" She dropped her entire act now, in her panic.

"As I said," Jasper continued to walk towards her, "I'm very perceptive." His stomach churned. She was becoming afraid of him. Jasper needed to push her a little farther -- he had the confession, that gave him enough cause to finish it.

"A-are you going to kill me ...?" Melanie asked. Her voice was a mere whisper. "I ... I'm sorry, if I killed someone you knew ..."

"It ain't me you should be apologizin' to, Mel." Jasper said her name like he'd just tasted something sour. "You left a child without her father." He pulled her up by the elbow. "As for killing you? That sounds fair to me." He pushed her on to the bed now, and after a minute of struggling with her, he had her wrists in the restraints.

Melanie no longer had words. She was terrified. Who is this gorgeous monster? Where did he come from, and why didn't I see how much trouble he was? "P-please..."

"Oh you want mercy? Is that it?" Jasper's voice was taunting. He was sitting by her bed, and enjoying watching her squirm. He thought of Peter, and how he would've enjoyed this even more. _Well, this one will be for him. That's all there is to it. And it will be my last kill._ Of that last thought, Jasper was certain. He would never again allow himself to indulge like this.

"Did you give the ones you killed mercy?"

"N-no ..." Melanie looked away from Jasper now. Tears streaked down her pretty face, as she shivered in fear of what Jasper had planned for her. Would he rape her? Beat her? Death would've been kinder than either of those.

At length, Jasper stood up. He'd had enough. His stomach had been patient enough with his game. He forced her to look at him.

"You don't know what mercy is, but I do. And I will give you the mercy of a quick, and painless death." Before Melanie had a chance to react to that statement, Jasper snapped her neck, and began to feed.

**(A/N: Just a quick note. From now on, Lost and Found will be updated on Mondays before midnight, due to the hectic schedules of both the author, and her beta. Thanks for reading!!)**


	7. Chapter Six: Finding Hope

**Chapter Six: Finding Hope**

Jasper didn't leave the room until well after dark, he didn't want to be seen. He felt a strange sense of accomplishment that was only slightly dimmed by the guilt he felt for taking another life. Jasper consoled himself with the reminder that she would've only done the same to him had he been any other man. He consulted the map he had bought from the coffee shop and found that he was only a few miles away from Tennessee. Jasper didn't realize he had travelled that far already. He supposed it helped that he didn't need to sleep. He pocked the map, and picked up his bag of goods. At some point, he decided, he would discard them and get new ones, but it didn't have to happen right away.

_You've finally made it to another place. You're far enough from Maria now that she'll probably never find you again. All you have left to do is find others like yourself; that are seeking another way of life._ Jasper was glad to see that his little indulgence had not changed his mind about what he wanted to do -- he was still set on changing his feeding style. He took a left at the end of the road, and headed towards the fast road that would finally take him to the East Coast.

He came to a place called Nashville, and decided this is where he might find what he was seeking. He had the sense that there might be a few of his kind hiding amongst the kind humans that greeted him as he entered town. He smelled them throughout the crowd. Apparently, he wasn't the only looking for a vampire or two. Just before sunset, as he was walking through the shade to avoid attraction by others, he felt someone's eyes on his back. He turned, growling in automatic response.

"Easy there. I mean y'no harm."

Before Jasper stood a kind faced man, who could've easily been twice Jasper's age. He wore a cowboy hat on his head, it shaded his burgandy colored eyes from the public. _Though_, Jasper thought, _any one of us could have easily picked them ou_t.

"You ain't from around here, are you?" the vampire said.

"Nope," Jasper replied easily casually. He had very few dealings with other vampires since he had left Maria's territory. He had his guard up.

"Where'd you come from?"

"Texas, mostly." It was the truth, though Jasper had been other places before.

"Wow. They're comin' from everywhere these days, it seems."

The stranger smiled broadly at Jasper. "Whatcha lookin' for around these parts? A quick bite? I wouldn't go looking too long. Most of this place is claimed already, my friend."

"It's fine," Jasper replied. He didn't know if he ought to bring up the fact he was looking for something all together different or not. As it turns out, he didn't have to bring it up at all. The one who had greeted him spoke again.

"Though it appears you're not here for that. If you're looking for work to sustain yourself, there are better jobs up in the Pennsylvania area, around Philadelphia."

Jasper nodded. "Thank you. What is your name kind sir?" Jasper wanted to remember all of those who were kind to him.

"Jack Stephenson, " he tipped his hat to Jasper, "and yours, fine young man?"

"Jasper Whitlock."

He had long since stopped referring to himself as a major, he noticed. He wondered when he had stopped, though he guessed it had probably been soon after he left Peter and Charlotte. He shook his head. It wasn't the time to think of the past. This was his future.

"What sort of jobs are they giving out?" he asked to distract himself, more than to keep a conversation going.

"Many kinds, I'd presume. There's a train leaving tomorrow, if you're interested. I'm staying here. There's a lot more here for me than there." He tipped his hat again, and was on his way. Jasper watched after him. Had Jack known that he was looking for something different? Jasper shook his head, and began to look for a place to relax. He noted that his stomach, which he'd kept moderately full by way of some dead animal or other, was churning again. Maybe Peter was right about not being able to keep full on just animal blood. It would probably take some getting used to, but at least now he was experimenting. He found a small inn at the end of the street, and walked in.

***

This inn, unlike many he'd been in before, was fully booked. The clerk was proud to announce that Jasper had gotten the very last room available for the night. Jasper smiled at his fortune, and the clerk's good mood. He found that he himself was in a pretty decent mood. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel so desparate for anything. He decided to take the time to reflect on his past, his present, and his future. He had the feeling his future would be found to be brighter, once he got on that train to Philadelphia. He wasn't sure why he felt that, but he did, and Jasper wasn't one to question a good thing, so he didn't.

Later in the evening, Jasper felt his hunger churning. The smell of alcohol and violence just about overwhelmed him. He forced himself to stay in his room though, remembering his promise to himself about overinduldgence. To curb his appetite, he captured an innocent rat that had been making itself at home in the corner of his room. He didn't find it very appetizing, but it took the edge off of his hunger. He paced after that, thinking about how disgusted Peter would have been, if he could see him like that. He had to smile. Peter and Charlotte would never be able to tame their inner animal. Jasper, on the other hand, was determined to do so.

Just before daylight, the vampire decided it was time to head to the train station. He was careful to discard his many snack corpses. They had seen him through his first full night without human blood,a nd he found, with satisfaction, that he had no desire to eat now. He was more interested in getting to where his future wanted him to be. He changed clothes, though. He'd found a laundry basket down the hall from his room, and carefully picked through it, taking items that he thought might suit his needs. Now he dressed in a tee-shirt and a pair of jeans. He checked himself out in his room's mirror, and thought he didn't look half bad, even if the jeans felt odd, after the combat gear he generally had worn for centuries. It was a sign of the times, he guessed.

***

Finding the train station wasn't that hard. The station turned out to be just down a ways from the Inn. The ticket operator eyed Jasper skeptically, before very suddenly deciding that he had just the right amount of change to give Jasper back for the ticket. Jasper got on the train, and sat silently in wait. He realized for the first time he was going to be traveling in a vehicle. It made Jasper just a little bit nervous. He couldn't believe that he, one who had killed so many, and in turn, caused so many to fear him, was nervous over such a silly thing. Yet, he was that, and anxious to get moving at the same time. Jasper occupied his time by trying to imagine what it would be like, actually trying to find a job. He imagined he'd probably have to get a night job to keep from drawing attention to the fact that he wasn't like normal humans.

When the train finally began to move, Jasper had to work extra hard to keep himself centered. There were a lot of emotions swirling in the air around him, and he had to work at keeping himself in check, especially after a man that didn't particularly look kind sat down a seat away from him. He turned himself to face the window, unintentionally sending out a vibe of calm to the man. He was relieved to see him relax. He leaned his head back against the headrest, and closed his eyes, to focus more on what his intentions were once he got to to where he was going. If he focused on that, the rest of what was going on around him wouldn't bother him as much, he figured.

When the train stopped hours later, Jasper stirred from his inertia, and looked outside. There was activity bustling around the train, and Jasper found that he was caught up in all the excitement as well. He smiled, as he stepped from the last step of the train to the platform. A little boy was greeting his father. He thought sadly of his own father and mother. They never got the chance to greet their boy after war. He turned away from the scene, pained.

"Are you goin' anywhere in particular, sir?" a friendly attendant at baggage claim asked him.

"Not yet, I don't think. I came here, hoping to find some kind of night work. You see, I do my best work then." Jasper found that it wasn't really that far from the truth, if he thought about it. "Jobs were lacking down South." He added this for good measure, being sure to make it clear that's where he was from.

"Ah, yes. Well. There are a few places looking for good workers, but I'm not sure many of them are hiring for at night. Most of them are shop owners." He handed Jasper his duffle bag. "I wish you the best of luck here in Philly."

"Thank you."

Jasper found the news that he had been given very disheartening, but he wasn't going to give up. He would look anyway. Jasper wandered away from the train station, and began to take stock of his surroundings. By far, Philedelphia had to be the biggest place he'd seen besides his home in Texas. The Southern vampire figured he probably stuck out like a sore thumb, especially since he hadn't thought to bring a jacket. It was colder there. Not that Jasper himself noticed cold. He couldn't, but judging from the coats and hats worn by the humans in his presence, he guessed it must be ither autumn or winter. He really wasn't sure anymore. He had long since lost track of the seasons.

***

Jasper tired of wandering the large city quickly. It was apparent to him that the climate of emotion in the cities were amplified versions of those he'd been feeling all along. Some of the emotions were reminecent of those he'd felt on the battle field during the war. He shuddered subconsciously at the memory of it. His feet finally led him, to his disdain, to a tavern. He wondered for an instant why he kept winding up at these types of places. He blinked then, noticing the Help Wanted sign. It looks as if this wasn't a circumstance of chance this time. He entered the tavern, and looked around for the person in charge.

"Can I help you, Sir?" a friendly young waiter asked. His name tag said his name was Blythe.

"Looking for the person in charge," Jasper grunted. He was already feeling the emotions of the atmosphere. There was nothing more difficult for him to resist than so many humans in one room, hot, drunk, and angry. He was beginning to have second thought about working in such a crowded place, but he decided to just find out what the job was first.

"Carl's over there," The young man pointed in the general direction of the bar. He was giving Jasper a doubtful look. "You're not planning to go out for the bartending position, are you?"

Jasper shrugged casually. "It can't hurt, I suppose." He made his way through the crowd of boisterous drunks, waiters. He found the man with the name tag that said Carl on it easy enough. "Excuse me. I'm here 'bout the bartending job...."

Carl gave Jasper a once over. "Any experience?" He didn't look too interested in the job interview. He looked more like he wanted to get home. This relieved Jasper. He could probably lie his way through, just to get a place to say.

"Some, yes." Jasper offered cautiously. "Anything I don't know, I s'pose I could learn on the job." At this, he offered his most charming smile. He gave off a wave of reassurance. Bartending might not have been his first choice, what with all the heavy emotions that were associated with drinking, but it was probably the best night job he was going to get at the moment. He'd have to take it.

"Sure, sure. Job's yours. You can start right now. Free room and board." Carl mopped the sweat off his brow. He was ready to get out of there, and if some stranger, randomly off the streets wanted his job, so be it. "Call Lou if you get into a jam. He knows every concotion in the book." He threw his bar towel at Jasper, and disappeard before the vampire could ask anything further.

***

"Hey! Get me some gin on the rocks, wouldja?" Jasper sighed to himself as he poured the request, and slid it down the bar to the customer. The night, which had already been loud and angry when Jasper first got there, was turning out worse. He turned his attention to the young girl sitting alone. She was sipping a margerita, which she had told him the combination for. She had beeng giving off vibes of depression, and sadness all night. Jasper took a deep, centering breath. His thousandth for the night. He was impressed with himself. He had been able to control his urges, even when it got more crowded only minutes after he'd begun fumbling his way through his new job for the second night. When he opened his eyes again, he was able to focus. He tried to send happier feelings towards the young woman.

"Can I get you anything else, Miss?" He wiped up some spilled ice into the ice bucket, and put it back.

"No, thank you ..." She took out a cigarette, and lit it. "Tell me something ... how is it a well dress young man like yourself, is working in a place like this?" She was eyeing Jasper with a look of someone who felt as though she could afford to scrutinize. She herself was only dressed in long business dress with a matching head scarf.

"It fits me, is all," Jasper offered her a genuinely kind smile. "Now let me ask you somethin', miss. How is it someone like yourself is drinking alone in a place like this?"

"S'better than home," came the reply. She stood up, and laid down some cash. "Thank you, Sir, for the kindness." She walked out of the bar without another word. Jasper wondered what she meant by that, but he didn't get a chance to mull it over.

A big fight was starting at the far end of the tavern. That particular table had been rowdy all night, and try as he might, there wasn't enough calming waves in the world to sooth that bunch. He withheld a growl, as a chair suddenly went flying.

"Alright, that's enough," he called out a warning. He noted that his voice rose to the specific pitch he had once used to command an army of newborns. His instincts caused him to flinch, as the venom in his mouth rose for the thousandth time that night. _Hold it together, Jazz. It's almost closing time. You can do it._ He clenched his fists tightly, trying hard to ignore burning sensation in his throat.

"Hey, who do you think you are, telling us what to do do, huh?!" an Asian man, clearly drunk beyond his senses, got up in Jasper's face. "You're not even the manager here!"

"Yeah!" the rowdy crowd chorused, as fists began to swing, and knives were brought out.

"I said that's ENOUGH!!" Jasper bellowed. He was standing atop the bar now, glaring dangerously at them. He was at the very end of his self-control. Blood had been spilled in the far corner. He saw the same Asian knelt over another man, knife at the ready to stab him again. "If y'all can't drink properly, get out! This isn't a fighting ring here!" As he spoke, he sent a more powerful flow of relaxation and calm over the gathering crowd. To his surprise, this time, it worked. The crowd calmed, and the Asian went to a payphone to call for assistance. Amid the chaos that erupted, Jasper quietly slipped out the back doors, wanting to get away from that which tempted him so badly. Without thinking, he grabbed a nearby cat, and drained it quickly, disposing of the corpse in a dumpster. He threw his apron, and his towel into the kitchen, before walking down the street. He was furious with humanity right now. So much anger, violence, depression. How did they all continue to live like that? He wouldn't be able to, if he didn't have the curse immortality. He was sure of it.

"Just stop it, Manuel. Don't you dare!" Jasper blinked. He knew that voice. It belonged to the pretty girl that had been sitting at the bar all night. He heard glass smash. He guessed it was about five yards away. He stepped out of the back alley, and looked around. Save for a couple of homeless folk, who weren't really sane to begin with, Jasper saw no one that would be suspicous of him. He raced at his normal speed to just right before he reached where he believed the glass to have shattered.

"Y-you ... asshole ..." The woman was sitting in a pile of shattered glass. "Wh-what were you trying to accomplish ...?"

Jasper saw now that she was not alone. Beside her, close to her body lay a young man that could not have been more than twenty at best. Blood was seeping, snaking around the glass shards. Jasper glanced up, and saw that a window was broken maybe three floors up.

Suicide. What a horribly selfish thing to do ... Now he understood the woman's feelings earlier, and why she had not wanted to go home.

"H-help me, Sir, please. We've got to stop the bleeding ..." She had noticed Jasper just now, and she reached a blood covered hand out to him. "I c-can't live in a world where he doesn't exist ... please ..."

Jasper took a step or two back. Bloodlust was filling him again. He felt the urge, becoming stronger, as the flow of blood snaked closer to his feet.

"I can't help you ..." He sent feelings of calm out to her. He didn't want her to do anything irrational, like to try take her own life. His efforts would've been wasted then. He swallowed hard, watching her pick up one of the longer shards of glass. "Please, don't. I don't s'pose he'd want you to ..." He made the mistake of moving closer, meaning to take it away from her.

"How would you know ..?!"

Her face was a picture of torment, pain, fear ... all things that caused Jasper's urge to rise steadily. The blood now pooled at Jasper's feet in a pothole. It was slowly sinking into the ground below to the sewer. He lunged at the woman. Those were the last words the woman spoke. The kindly bartender was the last face she saw before she died.

***

He buried them discretely in a dumpster. The morning felt bleak, and Jasper felt weak. He was disappinted in himself, for not being able to contain his urge. Though he had done well with such a huge crowd, two individuals that had been alone, had died. Granted, one of them had already been dead by the time his lips touched his blood, but that didn't make Jasper any less guilty. He hadn't wanted to take the life of the woman. That had given her the easy way out, and life wasn't about that. He knew that the hard way. He stood outside the tavern, slowly going over the events of the night before in his head. Of course, he hadn't slept. He had spent the remainder of the late hours of the night pacing outside the aparments where the police cleaned up the bloody mess. He explained what he had seen, though he admitted to not knowing where the two victims had disappeared to. He sighed deeply, and turned from the tavern. He didnt' have the heart to return there anymore.

He wandered aimlessly for hours, it seemed, trying €to keep away from as many people as he could. He knew now that he had failed in his mission to find others like him. There were none. His kind were meant to always feed on humans. This thought made him sad. Innocents were always going to die at either his hands, or someone else's. It wouldn't matter the reason, or the excuses he'd come up with for his actions. He put his face in his hands, as he sat down on a bench alone, under an overhang, and out of the rain. _So your long journey over these last few years has been for nothing, huh? We should've known things were going to end badly. It might have been better to just stick with Peter and Charlotte after all ..._ His wallowing was interrupted by the sound of people gathering at a nearby diner. He blinked, and wandered over in curiosity. It was a new diner, it appeared.

"What's the great adventure here?" he asked someone randomly.

"Oh, it's nothing really. Everyone gets excited when a new steak sandwich place is opened around here. You can go in, if you want to. Get yourself out of the cold." The girl who had answered his question was about the age of Annabelle. Jasper felt a pang for the lost child he'd killed. He went into the diner, and looked around. The place was crowded, save for one area of the place. He went to the back, wanting to get away as quickly as possible. It was only after he had settled down at a booth that he noticed her. The girl had short black hair, worn in a pixie cut. She was eyeing him. He fond that he was strangely drawn to her. Then he noticed the more important thing. She was a vampire, like himself. She sat daintily in the booth adjacent to his. She wore a kind smile. Moving towards her, he took the hand she held out to him.

"You've kept me waiting a long time ..." the girl smiled, and suddenly, Jasper felt something he hadn't felt for centuries. For the first time, he felt hope.

**(A/N:This concludes "Lost and Found". For the record, I AM planning a sequel, but it will not be started for a bit, until I finish my other two fics. I would like to take the time out to thank Iris Messenger for the amazing work she did on this fic, and all the support she gave me throughout. I am sad to say I won't be able to work with her for awhile**. **She will be missed!! Also, the line, "You've kept me waiting a long time" does not belong to me. It comes from Eclipse , page 301.) **


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